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Introduction
Gender identity is a critical element of ones overall identity and beliefs about themselves. It can be defined as individual conceptions of oneself as either male or female or, in some cases, as both or neither (Ghosh, 2020). Gender identity is self-identified and begins at an early age when children are first introduced to gender concepts. However, it does not develop in isolation, and all children are affected by a combination of internal and external factors, including exposure to societal preconceptions about biological sex and gender, social class, culture, and even race. This paper is dedicated to the development of my gender identity from an early age to the current point in my life. Specifically, it will consider how different factors affected that development.
Personal Information
It is important to discuss relevant personal information and current gender identity before considering the overall identity development journey. I am a 31-year-old woman and identify as female. I would describe my sexual orientation as bisexual, and I share three children with my partner. Furthermore, I am African American with a Caribbean Jamaican cultural background and can be described as middle class. I believe that my cultural and ethnic background, sexuality, and, in part, social class impacted my gender identity development.
Gender Identity Development
For most of my life, I have always identified as female. In my opinion, the Caribbean Jamaican culture has substantially affected that self-identification, specifically in early childhood. Jamaican society can be described as one where gender stereotypes are relatively rigid, with women expected to fulfill traditionally feminine roles, while men are ascribed traditionally masculine responsibilities in the household and community. According to Wilson-Harris (2018), these attitudes still persevere, and Jamaican women believe that a womans main role is to take care of her family (para. 1). Thus, while men are expected to work and provide for their families, women are supposed to care for children and the household. The African American community has a similar gender roles ideology, although the idea of the Strong Black Woman is being perpetuated and assigned to black females by society (Jerald et al., 2017). Although this stereotype broadens the gender roles of African American women, it does not exclude caretaking behavior. Thus, both cultures that I was exposed to since childhood and that continue to shape my experience impacted the development of my gender identity.
As I was introduced to these beliefs very early, I have always viewed myself as female as it was the identity assigned to me by family and society, and I accepted it without difficulty. I remember children of different sexes being segregated during playtimes and boys playing with toy cars or soldiers, while girls were offered dolls, toy strollers, and plush toys. There was one incident when my grandmother took away a toy firetruck I was playing with because it was, in her words, a boys toy. In addition, at home, I was often involved in household tasks such as sweeping or washing dishes, and helping my mother was labeled as my fair contribution to the household. In our neighborhood, older girls were also expected to look after younger children during group playtimes, and this experience was often presented to us as preparation for our future children. I certainly internalized some of the beliefs of the female and male roles I was exposed to as a child. For example, I still struggle to leave my children in someone elses care because I believe their care is my primary duty.
The awareness of my gender identity as a female came primarily from my family. As mentioned above, I was treated as a girl and was expected to behave in a traditionally girly manner. It should be noted that some family members often discouraged my behavior that went against the traditional stereotypes about girls, such as wearing dresses and playing with dolls. In school, teachers also supported the stereotypical ideas about men and women, with some professions and jobs being described to children as traditionally held by men or women. I did not have a clear idea of a career I would like to pursue. However, I can recall a girl from my class telling the teacher she wanted to become a surgeon and being told that being a nurse might suit her better. Due to this, I developed a bias against some jobs as being too difficult, specifically jobs that require physical or intellectual efforts such as construction and engineering. Although it is a preconception that I have overcome, it is clear that societal expectations affected my identity and understanding of gender roles.
Due to my family being middle class, I was also offered more opportunities and provided with more experiences than my peers. My grandmother insisted on me being nurturing and focusing on helping my parents or performing, in her word, my duties as a daughter. However, my parents were more open-minded, and their expectations of gender roles were different, with them insisting I should be able to take care of myself and be independent. Meanwhile, my female friends from lower social class backgrounds were taught that their primary responsibility was childcare and household duties. Thus, I believe that social class can limit or broaden ones opportunities in life and impact notions of gender roles.
Nevertheless, I struggled with my gender identity during my teenage years due to realizing that I am bisexual. I was subjected to traditional female gender roles in my childhood, and I was explained that romantic and sexual relationships were possible only between a man and a woman. In my peer groups, girls always discussed relationships with members of the opposite sex, with same-sex relationships not being introduced or clarified. When I realized that I am attracted to both boys and girls, I began to question my gender identity, as an attraction to girls was never explained to me. In my worldview, males were attracted to females, and being romantically interested in girls as female seemed like a foreign concept. In simple terms, being attracted to a girl equaled being a man to me, but as transsexuality was not a topic that my family and teachers ever discussed, the situation was extremely confusing and debilitating. However, with the support of my peer groups, some of whom were also either bisexual or homosexual, I recognized that sexual attraction to a particular gender does not always affect ones gender identity.
Conclusion
In summary, my gender identity development can be described as typical. At an early age, I was exposed to traditional gendered roles and was expected to fulfill those roles. However, refusal to do so was rarely met with disapproval, with few family members being discouraged. In the local community and school, expectations of girls were similar to my family, and I was confident in my identity as a female. However, when I realized my bisexuality, I questioned my gender identity but accepted that attraction to members of the same sex has no impact on my self-identification as a woman.
References
Ghosh, S. (2020). Gender identity and gender role. Diseases & Conditions Medscape Reference. Web.
Jerald, M. C., Cole, E. R., Ward, L. M., & Avery, L. R. (2017). Controlling images: How awareness of group stereotypes affects Black womens well-being. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 64(5), Web.
Wilson-Harris, N. (2018). Men must rule! New survey finds 70% of women prefer male-headed households. Jamaica Gleaner. Web.
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