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An effective thesis states the writers clearly defined opinion on some subject. You must tell your reader what you think. Dont dodge the issue; present your opinion specifically and precisely. However, dont just make your thesis an announcement of your subject matter or a description of your intentions.
Poor: The subject of this theme is my experience with a pet boa constrictor. [This is an announcement of the subject, not a thesis.]
Poor: Im going to discuss boa constrictors as pets. [This is a statement of intention, but not a thesis.]
Better: Boa constrictors do not make healthy indoor pets. [The writer states an opinion that will be explained and defended in the essay.]
An effective thesis asserts one main idea. Many essays get into trouble because the writer tries to explain two different large issues in one essay. Pick one main idea and explain it in convincing detail.
Poor: High school athletes shouldnt have to maintain a certain grade-point average to participate in school sports, and the value of sports is often worth the lower academic average. [This essay moves in two different directions.]
Better: High school athletes shouldnt have to maintain a certain grade-point average to participate in school sports. [This essay will focus on one issue: reasons why a particular average shouldnt be required.]
Avoid empty words. Interesting. Unusual. good. bad. Things.
There are a lot of things that were unusual about magic realist writers.
An effective thesis has something worthwhile to say. Some thesis statements are boring and predictable from the start ( Dogs have always been mans best friends. ). Even if you are asked to write about yourself or your own experiences, you can usually universalize the essays thesis so your readers can also identify with, or learn something about, the general subject.
Poor: The four children in my family have completely different personalities. [This statement may be true, but would anyone but the childrens parents really be fascinated with this essay topic?]
Better: Birth order can influence childrens personalities in startling ways. [The writer is wiser to offer this controversial statement, which is of more interest to readers than the one above; the writer can illustrate her claims with examples from her family, and from other families if she wishes.]
Also, dont merely state a fact. A thesis is an assertion of opinion that leads to discussion; dont select an idea that is self-evident or dead-ended.
Poor: Drunk driving is a terrible problem in our country. [Yes, of course; who wouldnt agree that drunk driving is a terrible problem?]
Better: Drunk-driving laws in this state are too lenient for repeat offenders. [This thesis will lead to a discussion in which supporting arguments and evidence will be presented.]
An effective thesis is limited to fit the assignment. Your thesis should be focused enough to adequately explore and develop in one essay.
Poor: The parking permit system at this university should be completely revised. [An essay calling for the revision of the parking permit system would probably involve discussion of permits for various kinds of students, faculty, administrators, staff, visitors, etc. Therefore, the thesis is probably too broad for a short essay.]
Better: Because of the complicated application process, the parking permit system at this university penalizes disabled students. [Now it is focused on one small part of the larger issue and is thus better suited to a short essay.]
An effective thesis is clearly stated in specific terms. A vague thesis will lead to vague, undeveloped, fuzzy writing. Try to avoid imprecise words ( interesting, good ); use clear, direct, meaningful words. Also, dont clutter your thesis with expressions such as in my opinion or in this essay, Ill argue that&
Poor: My opinion is that the federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.
Better: The federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.[It is understood that this statement is your opinion.]
An effective thesis is clearly located, often in the first or second paragraph. It should be located at the end of the introduction, along with the map.
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